January Reflections

So as of last month, we are now looking for a new place to live. In March we will leave our home here in Hurricane. Mac has decided to move back to Las Vegas and we don't need this huge house, nor can we afford it, on our own. I have done a lot of reflecting. I have been very bitter and angry. My feelings have been hurt. A year ago Q and I turned the lives of our family upside down to accommodate Mac. We left the security of our little home and the comfort of simple living for something much bigger and insecure.
When I first saw this house I fell in love. The wood working, the kitchen, the orchard and yard, it was a dream home. I loved the fireplaces, the split level and the huge garage. Through this last year I haven fallen out of love this house. I have realized that this is a place of heartbreak and spacious insecurity. Though we have made many fond memories, I strongly believe the negative has outweighed the positive. Q and I both miss a smaller home, much less yard work, simple living. In the words of Phil from Duck Dynasty, I feel like a yuppie and I ain't no yuppie girl.
I remember as a little girl going to the Parade of Homes and dreaming of a HUGE house with all the amenities. Now that I have lived this way, I am glad to be leaving. I am looking forward to a one level home, with a quaint yard, a small garage, one living room, and my family surrounding me. I don't feel this house has really ever turned into a "home". No matter how many people have been within it's walls, the decorations on the wall, or the thought of it being "ours", this is not our home. It's never felt the way the Buena Vista home felt. Very much looking forward to simple life again.